:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Thursday, November 06, 2003 ::

introspections
Things are so busy, I haven't been really working on things here. I feel I've neglected it a bit. There's all sorts of things going on that I haven't written about. There's news I haven't commented on. Not to mention I haven't really been reading other blogs.

I guess it's because we've all seemed to have hit some sort of seasonal slump. Fall and bad weather can do that to you.

Honestly, I've been finding things extremely depressing lately. It seems that, every time I talk to someone, they either have bad news, or they've been reflecting on things that make them depressed.

For instance:

Brian called me the other day. He's my Army buddy in Texas that this current layout is dedicated to. He's getting divorced. He and Sammy have been having a few issues lately, but they haven't even been married a year. He told me last week he was going to get an annulment. With everything he's told me about her recently with the way she's acting, I hope it hasn't been too long for him to do that. I have a feeling she'll screw him over big time in a divorce case.

Example number two:

General Internet mood... reflective, yet forward thinking. Where am I going in life? What is my purpose here? Why should I bother? What have I learned? What should I do with myself?

Good questions, but with no concrete answers. There's no one else who can answer them for you. You have to search for those yourself.

Maybe I'm sounding a bit selfish. It's definitely not my intention so sound that way. Perhaps the reflective and philosophical mood of the moment has rubbed off on me as well, causing me to think a bit more. After all, that was one of the purposes behind making this blog... to help me organize my thoughts a bit more without the delay of waiting for me to write it out. Yes, I type a lot faster than I write.

I guess it's part of the natural cycle of things. My internet time and interest waxes and wanes just like everyone else's I suppose. My focus shifts, the general mood of life changes... The other day was another one of my numb days, where I just don't think of anything. Last week, my mind was rotating in a million different places at once and I just couldn't focus. It was like my head was a TV and someone kept changing the channel on me.

Like a lot of people lately, I really don't know what to think. I feel like there's missing facts somewhere, like there's a big sign out there I'm not seeing that holds all the answers. I need to clear the fog, but the sun just doesn't seem to want to burn it away.

My life is changing. It's doing so slowly, but it's definitely changing. I can feel it moving in a new direction now, but I can't see the path. I just wish I had some guidance to figure out where to go.

sife presentation
Well, I think it went well tonight. We were there for an hour to do the presentation at the Probation Department. These people are into it. They seem like they really want to be there to learn, they participate, they ask questions, they answer questions. I enjoyed myself.

Professor Newman asked me to see when I could possibly come back for another session. He definitely wants me to be there for the computer module. That I think is in two weeks. I have a quick PowerPoint I need to put together for it, but that's no biggie. Easy enough to do.

long island has a monsoon season?
Now, talk about weird weather. As I was heading to the SIFE presentation, I noticed strange flickers of light in the clouds. I couldn't for the life of me think of what it could be. Afterwards, we come upstairs and it's raining like crazy. Not to mention more flickering and... is that a rumble?

Thunderstorms in November? Who woulda thought? Thunderstorms, normally associated with warmer weather, are rare for this area in the fall, especially since we had the other rare extreme last month with anticipated snow flurries.

But, this was apparently not going to be any ordinary thunderstorm. We headed off and, as I'm driving to school from the Probation Department, it begins to downpour. And I mean, downpour. Big heavy drops splattering in rediculously fast succession combined with heavy road flooding does not make for a pleasant drive. Heck, I might as well have been following a water pumping truck with it's hose blasting me full force. At least that doesn't have the flooded roads.

However, by the time I got to the school, it had calmed to a misty drizzle and then it was just fog after I left class. I hate weird weather...

books are good
I also managed to get my stuff from the bookstore. Stupid Telecheck, though. For some reason, the school uses them to verify a check before they take it from you. Like we're going anywhere. They have our information on record, for crying out loud. It's not like going to Old Navy and then falling off the face of the Earth if it bounces.

Anyway, I'm on Telecheck's hit list right now, so I can't write my own checks at the bookstore. I asked Dad for one, but they still used my driver's license number. Even though it was for an account that's not mine and in good standing, it still didn't go through. I freaked. The girl let me use the phone to see if I could get in touch with Dad and use his license number. Luckily, I got him, so I didn't have to wake up Mom (she's sick), and it went through. So, I now have my books.

:: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 ::

IT'S A GIRL!

Annabelle Lee Partlow, born Nov 5^th , 2003, at 5:08 pm... 8lbs 8oz at 20 in long.

Proud parents are Stacy Ray and John Partlow, friends of mine that graduated high school with me.

Congratulations, you two!!!

halloween blues
I was blue... Blue dress, blue headpiece, blue belt. Later, I stole Estelle's wings, which were also blue. I might borrow them next year, too... Go as the Blue Fairy or something. That would be cool.

We had a good time, though. Just hanging out, Johnny's mom made more food than she needed again. Estelle's mom brought her caramel apples this year. Yum! We didn't have a lot of Trick-or-Treaters, which was strange since the weather was really nice. I thought for sure that nice weather on a Friday night would have meant lots of people going around.

{{shrugs}} Oh well. All the more little chocolate bars for me at home. ^^;;

blah


Of course, I now have the worst sinus cold in history. I'm coughing, sneezing, can't breath, and my head feels more stuffed up than a Thanksgiving turkey. It sucks... big time.

no rest for the weary
Unfortunately, timing is everything. I get sick right around the same time Lori's aunt died, so I have to come in to work all week anyway to at least cover the phones.

I just had to get sick this week, didn't I?

sife
Plus, tonight is one of the presentations at the Probation Department for SIFE. So, I have a second rushed day in a row. Yesterday was because class started at six and we had to stops to make on the way home from work (Sam's Club, voting, school book store, etc...).

So, doing a presentation while I feel like curling up in the corner should be loads of fun.

it costs how much?
$216.00

Wanna know for what?

Financial Accounting 8th Edition (with additional workbook) and Java How to Program Fifth Edition. Three books. I nearly died. On top of that, because of my past issues with check writing, the bookstore won't take them, so I couldn't write a check. And, since I didn't have the funds to cover it anyway, I couldn't even use my debit card.

So, I left without getting my books.

Hopefully, the check Bill gave me for last week will clear soon. I have Dad to thank again for footing the books bill once more.

birthday fun


Today's Bill's birthday, too... or it was yesterday, I forget. Either way, we all got a pizza lunch. They had beer, too, but I didn't think that would sit well with the sinus medication I've been taking for my cold.

Of course, as soon as you put a whole group of people who are 35 and older that have known each other for a long time in the same room with some beers, you get an awful lot of old funny stories from the past. I heard some old company dirt that was just absolutely hysterical.

doing my civic duty
Well, I exercised one of my basic American citizen rights last night and voted. I hope all of you Americans out there remembered to do so!

Some people think it's not even worth it. It's that attitude, and the multitudes of people that go in and just vote everyone in by row that really screws up the system. It works if you do your homework as best you can and really try to make an informed decision.

Well, for the most part.

But, at least I try. We were talking on the way into work yesterday about it. Freddie said he wasn't going to bother. He never votes, apparently. Billy was saying how he was just going to go in and vote all Row B, Democrat. I'm like, 'That's intelligent voting...'

I hate that. I had someone in the other booth last night where you could hear they were just voting party lines. A rapid succession of clicks in a row and then they pull the handle. Done. Now that was a truly informed voting decision.

Billy justifies it this way: "I vote in all Democrats because they at least care about the environment and the lower and middle classes."

My rebuttal: Politicians don't give a shit. If they cared about the working middle class Joe Schmoe's like my family, then they wouldn't be trying to tax us out of existance. They wouldn't be trying to get everyone dependant on government programs that we all have to pay for anyway out of our hard earned wages. How is it fair that I work hard to make a better life for myself, so that a good portion of my wages disappear into taxes that just end up in some Welfare-scamming lazy bum's pocket?

Now, don't get me wrong. I've been on Unemployment. I know people who need Social Services to get by. That's fine. It's there to help us in our hardships. But, it's the asshole who goes out and buys 10 Social Security Numbers so he can actually live off the system without working a day in his life that pisses me off. It's the illegal immigrant, who's generally working off the books and doesn't pay taxes, that goes and collects this stuff from my government and my tax money that pisses me off. It's supposed to be a temporary assistance, not a way of life.

As for the environment, most people have a basic care for the environment. But, lately, when it comes to that department, it just seems everyone running for office is just out there to make a buck. They'll say what you want to hear so you'll elect them and they can get paid for a while and have a nice pension when they're done.

Speaking of which, you wanna see Social Security fixed? Make Congress use it instead of their little pension plans they voted themselves. Guaranteed we'll have a working Social Security system before the next Congressman retires.

Kinda makes you wanna get involved in politics, don't it?

snapple "real fact" # 96
The average American will eat 35,000 cookies during his/her lifetime.

I think my dad's got that beat by a long shot already... ^^;;