:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Saturday, September 20, 2003 ::

lazy teachers...
Well, we didn't get our tests back last night. I had an insane test in class Tuesday night, and we didn't get them back on Thursday like the teached claimed he would. I'm not amazingly surprised.

I just want to know what I got. We had a choice of 7 essays, 11 points each, and then 50 questions that consisted of multiple choice and T/F. We had to give him back 100 points total. That meant, we had to do at least 5 of the essays. I wanted to do more than 5 so I didn't end up looking like a total flunkie, but, by the time I finished the sixth one, I couldn't write anymore. So, I just took the short answers at that point and filled in the last 34 points from those.

sigh
Today was so blah. We got rain last night from the hurricane. Not a lot, just some. It could have actually been early this morning. Either way, it wasn't anything major. I didn't think we would get anything huge from it. We're due for something soon, but with the way the hurricane dropped from Cat 5 to Cat 2 so quickly, I knew it wouldn't be much by the time it got to us.

Anyway, my day pretty much sucked. I was bored... and I'm just feeling so blah again lately. I really can't put words to it. I have no desire to talk to people anymore. I have no desire to make an effort at anything or go out anywhere.

Michelle's having an At Home America party tomorrow. She invited Mom, but she doesn't think she wants to go. I'm just going to hang out. Lord knows I don't have the money to actually buy anything anymore. {{sobs}}

my life sucks again
Even with going back to school, I just feel so ick lately. I haven't been getting out of bed until Mom gets home from work. I've been jumpy... wandering aimlessly around the house, wanting something to do, but not wanting to do anything. I get bored with everything after about five minutes.

My appetite has soared, but I think that's because I'm bored. Of course, it doesn't matter since there's nothing to eat in the house right now anyway.

I play games, and then stop. I want to check my RPGs, but I get discouraged and don't want to bother before I even type a word for any of them.

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I want to go to bed right now, but I know I'll just lay there.

My imagination is running wild, but I can't put any of it down on paper or type it out. When I try, it all disappears. I can't stop thinking. My thoughts are running all over the place. I replay RPG scenarios in my head. Movies, TV shows, things I should be doing, things I might say to someone when I see them, things that are bothering me, things I don't want to do... And I can't get it to stop.

I want to scream at people when too many IM me. I've been avoiding my Messenger programs again. People pop up on my screen and I actually tell them to leave me alone. I don't type it in. I say it... out loud. My parents think I'm just weird.

Not all people, though. There are a few I don't mind talking to. But there are some that come up that I just want to tell them to go fuck off or something.

I'm so blah.

I don't want to do anything. I didn't even want to write this post, but I had to. I had to do something or I was going to go stircrazy. That and maybe it'll help if I get it out.

I just don't want to bother people on IM about it.

Plus, signing onto IM gives the people I don't want to talk to access to me.

Then I'll really go nuts.

I have to go scream now. I probably won't, but I feel like I have to.

:: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 ::

sigh
Me and my boring life.

still not working
Bill didn't call me back in this week. This isn't good. I have more bills... Just can't seem to get rid of them. This isn't going to be much fun.

But... I did get approved for my student loan without a co-borrower this time around. I'm excited about that. I'm going to apply for more than I need to cover books and car expenses. And my phone bill. Hopefully, the school will get the stupid paperwork out in a reasonable amount of time this semester.

weekend fun
Friday, Estelle, Johnny, and I tried to play some Mille Bornes. I think we got a bit confused. It would have probably worked better if Mom had played. She actually knows the game really well. Heh...

As for Saturday, Auntie Lyn decided not to come over. The weather was really crappy, and I guess she just didn't feel up to driving out here in it. We can do it another time.

Sunday, Dad and I messed with the windows. We just got new screens to put in, and he did the living room ones without a problem. It was the upstairs he was having trouble with. I cleared off my window sill so he could get to mine, which he never did. We managed to clean the ones for his room, but he couldn't get the screen to slide into the track. I guess it was the angle. We don't have a big ladder to reach the windows upstairs, so he was trying to do it by leaning out and shoving it in from inside the house. It wasn't working too well. He's going to see about getting a big ladder this week and then we'll work on it again next weekend.

that is...
If we don't have a hurricane...

East Coast Braces for Hurricane Isabel

Yay...

Well, we're due for one anyway. We haven't had a big storm come along this way in a while, and we had quite the snow dumping this past winter. So, if I disappear for a few days after the weekend, that's probably why...

Stupid weather...