:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Friday, May 16, 2003 ::

blah
I just got a line call from Patty today stating there's a dinner tomorrow night. I'd hate to cancel out on Estelle and Johnny a second time this week, so I told her I wasn't sure if I could go. It depends on timing and such. Then, we're having a membership party on Sunday. I had forgotten about this one, myself, but I do remember us talking about it. Depending on times for that, I might have to cancel out on John S. I had already committed to going to the membership party when we first discussed it after Grand Assembly. ^^;;

I need to get a list of dates from someone so I can put them in my computer. {{huggles Outlook}} This thing is the best. It's got a calendar where I put everything! It helps loads on keeping things organized on what I'm doing.

blah ii
I think I'm going to play some Delta Force and kill some people. I'm feeling so blah...

oops
A few things I forgot about the trip... ^^;;

autographs!
The two opening acts that were there were signing autographs after their performances. They were also selling CDs for $10. I picked up Rebeka Reed's album, Pharoah's Daughter. It's very good. Plus, she signed it. ^_^;; Sweet.

times square
While we were in Times Square, I hear this familiar voice preaching away about how America is going to end. I look over. He starts preaching even louder and more enthusiastically because he's made eye contact with someone in the crowd. I'm thinking, 'Where do I know this guy from?'

A few days before, I found a site called Blogumentary. Last Thursday, he posted something about video taping people in Times Square. He posted a video with a preacher, yelling about how America is going to end 66 years after World War II... or something like that.

Guess what. That's where I had seen him. Standing in precisely the same spot, this guy was at it again, yelling about how the America was going to end.

If only I had thought to ask him about how he felt having that video done and posted on the internet... {{evil grin}}

cloudy night
I tried to watch the eclipse tonight, but it was overcast and I couldn't see the moon. {{pouts}} Figures. First total lunar eclipse in a while for here and we couldn't see it anyway. Poo.

homework blues
I was helping John S with some last minute projects via phone earlier. It's hard figuring that stuff out over the phone. {{shrugs}} We got it running pretty well, considering. His version of VB doesn't have the help documentation and MSDN doesn't have VB 6.0 documentation up on the website anymore. It's all geared towards VB.NET and promoting the newest release of that (Visual Basic.NET 2003). {{grumbles}} We weeded through some of the documentation on my computer through my version of Visual Studio, but, since it was over the phone, it wasn't very easy to find everything that he needed.

feeling better
Blech... I felt so crappy last night... I'm feeling a bit better today, though I'm still carrying a headache. Yuck. That's why I haven't blogged in a few days.

pondering
I'm pondering a switch over. While I'm pretty entrenched here at Blogger with this blog, Dreaming Insanity, Venting Insanity Beta (which is mainly just for fun anyway... it's not a real blog...), and now the group blog, Random Thoughts, I've been pondering switching over to something that has some more features available. I can't get extra stuff here without paying, so I'm looking for another free blogging service that has more options.

I've already started doing a few things on my own, but I don't have categories or mood-at-post-time types of things. I'll figure something out, though. I just don't like the idea of trying to switch everything over because I don't want to lose all the old posts I have here already. It would kind of stink, doncha know?

:: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 ::

interesting facts
For all you astrology nuts out there, I found some facts on lunar eclipses on Yahoo!. I posted at the end of last month about the total lunar eclipse that's happening this week. This should prove to be pretty cool. I haven't seen one before. More information from Space.com.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Seventh Level of Hell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Finally... I've seen this test everywhere and couldn't take it because the website was too busy. LOL... I'm violent, I guess. ^^;;;

-----

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

publish, damn it!
Yeah... Several posts wouldn't publish, but it finally went through this afternoon. {{sigh}}

update of the month
Where Is Raed? has been updated! That's huge news! Baghdad has been without electricity, let alone internet access, for quite some time now. However, pockets of it are coming back and Salam has been able to update his blog with all the latest. There's a lot of reading. He apparently was keeping a written journal during the time he had no internet access and has posted everything.

:: Monday, May 12, 2003 ::

quizzes


Angry Goth


What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hm... Funny... last Goth quiz I took said I was a Non-Goth. {{shrugs}} That and I don't like "angry music".

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You are Gambit!

You are a fierce fighter and a good friend to have.
Your preference for solitude and your
attractiveness make you very intriguing to
those you meet. Unfortunately, close
relationships are few and far between for you
because you often have trouble opening up to
others.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

This 'trouble opening up' seems to be a common thread... Gee... not surprising, since I already knew that about myself. ^^;;

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your bitch.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

heh heh heh... Well, I like to think I am. >P

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SMALL


(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

{{dies laughing}} Guess they haven't seen me... ^^;;

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You Have the Power to Turn Things to Stone!


What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm... Well, I do think the general populace is rather dumb.

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You really have to read more Lord of the Rings.


A Little Lord of the Rings has many numbers Quiz :)
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh... ^^;; {{goes and hides}} I haven't had the chance or the drive to sit and read lately!!! I swear!!!

trip goodness
I had so much fun on Saturday. It ended up being that we got an extra half hour of sleep. ^_^ Yay! The train was later than we thought.

Anyway, I got Estelle and the baby in the morning and we headed down to her in-laws to drop Johnny-boo off for the day. Then, we headed for the train station (John S couldn't go... ;_;) where we met up with Aly, Cathy, and Nick. Aly teasingly asked if we all had our tickets for Platform 9 3/4. ^_^ The train ride in was actually a bit crowded, but we managed to grab five seats across. From there, we caught a subway uptown to the park. The concert was great, plus there was this whole festival event going on at the same time where we got all sorts of free stuff. (see below for more details.)

We then got back on the subway and headed back down to midtown for an early dinner. We hit Jeckyl and Hyde's, which was suddenly a lot more pricey than we remembered... O.O;; But, we still had some good food. Then we went down to Times Square to look for the WWE store. It's apparently closed. ;_; We went back up to St Patrick's Cathedral, where we walked around the entire church and lit some candles. After that, Estelle, Aly, and I split from Cathy and Nick (who wanted to stay later). The three of us went down to where the World Trade Center used to be. O.O;; All I can say about that is 'Wow'.

From there, we caught the subway back up to Penn and the train home. ^_^

only in n.y.c.
The train ride into Penn was fairly uneventful. We grabbed the all-day Metro Pass from the machines (they've redone the way they charge for fairs...) and headed for the platform. While we were standing there, this short little man came up to us and started asking questions.

"Where are you from?"

"Where are you headed?"

"What are you going there for?"

He kept talking to us for the longest time. Poor Aly, who had been asking on the train if the subways were scary, looked like she was ready to pee in her pants. So, the train we wanted shows up and we all get on. It was standing room only. I went looking for something to hold on to. Even the rails were tough to reach. I manage to grab onto something, Aly held on me, Estelle to Aly, Cathy to Estelle, and Nick to Cathy. They couldn't get to a pole or rail. The train starts to move. Aly tipped back, bumped Estelle, who bumped Cathy, who bumped Nick, who stepped back and landed on the weird guy's foot.

O.O;;

He started making this huge scene!!! Yelling about how he gotted stepped on and "not my royal toe!" I never saw Cathy's face get so red before! She and Nick were trying so hard not to laugh and gather themselves so they could at least apologise for falling on the guy.

Needless to say, that was a big joke for the day.

central park
So, we get off about three blocks north of where we wanted to enter the park. We step through the opening in the wall where the walkway is and it's like stepping into an entirely different world. The busy streets disappear into the trees behind you as you walk, the whole city falling almost silent and sedate. There were people all stretched out on blankets in Sheep's Meadow, enjoying the beautiful temperatures and soft breeze. Others were out playing with their dogs, roller blading/skating, or riding their bicycles.

We found Rumsey Playfield, a hilltop clearing with a stage and bleachers set up behind the bandshell. There was no line, surprisingly enough, and there was room to walk around and find a place to sit without worrying about bumping people. We were shocked.

free stuff!
Not only was the concert itself free (no admission!), but there was a ton of other free stuff going on at the top of the hill. There was a woman there who was helping you concentrate on certain energies by designing a feng shuei necklace/bracelet for you. There was another woman that helped you answer a particularly important question by helping you read your own intuition. There were free tee shirts from the sponser (Schick), and they were giving away a sample of their new razor. There were two foldable canvases that you could paint on. There were two carnival games that, if you won, you got coupons to use at the food tent. You had to pay for the food, but, if you won the game, you got free water or soda.

The concert itself was great. With the beautiful weather, we were able to sit on the ground in front of the stage and just listen to Jewel's music. She also had two opening performers whom she helped get their start in the music business through her Soul City Cafe project. They were also great performers and I really enjoyed the whole thing. Jewel played three or four songs off her brand new album that's coming out June 3rd. I can't wait now... I like her new single, "Intuition", but, after hearing the other songs, I really want the album!! ^_^;;

jeckyl and hyde's
After the concert, we reluctantly returned to the busy streets of New York and headed underground to catch a train towards Midtown. Nick somehow managed to step his 'royal foot' in something after we emerged from the tunnels (I'd rather not say here... {{turns a bit green while debating if it was from a human or a dog...}}), but was able to get most of it off as we walked.

We hit Jeckyl and Hyde's, where Nick was able to wash off his sneaker, but discovered that it was suddenly a lot more expensive than last we remembered. O.O;; Yeeeouch! The food was good, but the waiter was annoying. Plus, we didn't have a lot for a tip because we weren't expecting the food to cost so much. He came back to the table, heckling us about our tip. As if heckling was going to get him a better one... If anything, it only made us more upset with him.

next stop, times square
We all headed off to Times Square then, looking for the WWE store. Unfortunately, it turns out they're not there anymore. We asked around if anyone knew what might have happened to it, but no one seemed to know.

While we were there, we picked up these paintings that they stylize your name using animals and scenery within a particular color scheme. Mine's got all sorts of butterflies, birds, and dolphins in it. She even made the 'I' look like a sailboat on the water at sunset. I got one for Mom for Mother's Day also, while Aly picked up two (her mom and grandmother) and Cathy picked up one (her mom).

this isn't just a church
Our next stop was back up towards Rockerfeller Center. It's the first time in a long time that I've been inside St Patrick's Cathedral. I couldn't even remember if it was near Rockerfeller Center or Times Square. After discovering that it wasn't near Times Square, we hopped the train for the short trip back up towards the ice rink. Right now, the ice rink is actually an outdoor cafe with umbrellas over the tables. The fountain behind the large golden Atlas statue is running during the summer and Saks Fifth Avenue just has clothes in their windows. However, the inside of the Cathedral is always beautiful.

The stations of the cross are carved directly into the stone walls. There's probably millions of dollars worth of religious artwork in the stained glass windows alone. Their extremely intricate and full of color. The building is shaped like a cross, with the two lines meeting just below the altar. The altar is immense and has two levels with extra seating for weddings and other large events along the sides. There's a small altar that they probably use for regular mass and a larger one behind it that's probably for the special ceremonies. We each put in the dollar offering and lit a candle for loved ones that have passed on.

time to depart
We took a break on the steps out front of the Cathedral for a little while, trying to decide what we wanted to do. Cathy and Nick wanted to stay a bit later than the 9:14 train Estelle, Aly, and I decided on catching. So, we caught a subway back towards Penn, parting ways at the LIRR terminal below MSG. The three of us then caught a train down to Cortlandt Street.

We didn't know that the Cortlandt St station was closed on the 1 and 9 lines and ended up going right past it to Rector St. Ooops. But, as we came up from Rector and headed back up towards Cortlandt, we found out why. The 1 and 9 trains head right under where the Trade Center used to be. The stop on those lines that used to be Cortlandt is probably still inaccessable. However, the N, R, F, and Q was still running through Cortlandt next block over, so that's the one we used to head back up to Penn.

somber moments
The most stunning part of the discovery was the large hole in the ground where the Cortlandt station should have been. As we walked up the street, I was looking for any clues that might indicate we were getting closer to where the Towers had been. It came so suddenly on us. We came up to the cross street on Trinity Place, passing under this wrought iron bridge that crossed over from the Trinity Church to another building (a spot we figured we'd visit on our next trip into NYC), and it was just there. No warnings whatsoever.

A large silvery white metal fence circled the lot. The corner we were approaching from had an entrance gate for construction/demolition vehicles with a guard standing there so no one could wander down into the gaping hole that now occupies the location. Large lights surround the site, providing workers with the ability to see and work overnight in cleaning and preparing the spot for future plans. As we got closer, I noticed several large signs, puposely put there, hanging from the 10-12 foot fence. Four signs were just lists of names... names of people who had died in the collapse and the two planes. At eye level were images of the site from that day and the next few weeks accompanied by several text passages describing events throughout that time.

As we looked, I saw that several people were still placing bouquets of flowers in the fence. They were scattered around, only a few of them, showing how people are almost beginning to forget in our fast paced city. For a moment, I wished that I had picked one up from the flower vender we had passed earlier in the day, but we hadn't been thinking to stop down there at that time.

While we were there, a family was taking a picture. The way they were acting was almost like they had gone to see Mt Rushmore or something. I was a bit perturbed, but, as I made eye contact with one of the women in the group, I realized it was their way of coping and making the situation a little less upsetting. It was overwhelming. I'm not quite sure what emotions were going through me, but I knew they were there.

It was so strange being able to look across three city blocks to the other buildings with nothing obstructing the view. Usually, you have to look down a side street to see anything, and there's always other buildings covering up the bottoms of those taller skyscrapers. But, this... this was just nothing... a large open area with a view right across to several other buildings. The stark contrast to the rest of the city was just plain shocking, for lack of a better description.

homeward bound
We caught the R from Cortlandt then, bound for Penn Station and the train home. Just past our target time, we ended up having to wait 45 minutes for the 10:14 instead of our planned 9:14. It wasn't bad. We actually found some seats in the LIRR waiting room (a rarity in itself) where we were able to watch the TV screens to see what platform we would be boarding at.

Once on the train, we chatted about our day, telling each other how we felt it had gone and that we all felt fulfilled that we had a nice day in the city. Aly fell asleep on the hour and a half ride home (the engineer was driving slow for some reason or another). I dropped her off at the house in Medford after we got in. I was so tired, I didn't stay at Estelle's, just asking her to say 'hi' to Johnny for me before heading home and collapsing in bed. I had left at a quarter to 9 that morning and didn't get home until after midnight.

summary?
All-in-all, it was an excellent trip. It's the first time in a long time that I've just spent the day in the city like that, taking the subways everwhere, and just heading to different places for no particular reason. I actually felt fairly confident down in the subways, not having gone down there on my own without Mom and Dad before, and I'm usually pretty good at figuring out where I am when I'm up on the streets. Midtown is easy enough because everything's numbered. It's below Canal that I can get a little confused because all the streets are named and they aren't arranged in a grid-like pattern anymore. Some go diagonal and a lot are small streets that dead end somewhere.

Either way, we did great figuring out where to go (my little map really helped!) and didn't get majorly lost. The cops at Times Square were nice enough to answer our questions about the WWE store and the Cathedral, making it that much easier for us to figure things out. It was a very good day.

yesterday
{{bursts into song}} all my troubles seemed so far away! {{coughs}} Sorry.

Yesterday was Katie's communion and a visit from Nana and Auntie Lyn. Add in the fact that Dad decided he wanted to show Karen and Tom the club, it was another long day.

you haven't been to church in how long?
I reluctantly woke up early to go with Dad to St Mark's in Ridge for Katie's communion. Not that I didn't want to go, but I wasn't expecting to be as tired as I was. Either way, I still went (even wore a dress for church!!!). The ceremony was very nice, and the pastor was actually a pretty funny guy. He made several baseball analogies and even mentioned the Mets' first baseman, so we figured he's a big Mets fan. But, it was all in terms the young kids could understand.

Each of them had a part to read or do for the ceremony that morning. The Pastor read off each name of each child receiving for the first time that morning. Katie took part in the offering, bringing up the bread that is given out for communion. Then, they had each of the children come up with their parents for their first taking. Then, the rest of the congregation went up (I didn't, as I'm not Catholic and I never received my first communion in any church since we're a non-practicing family).

Afterwards, we stopped for a little while to visit with everyone at the Condron's house. Dad made plans with Karen and Tom to take them and their kids over to the club. We stopped home, got changed, and then headed out. Dad showed them the whole club, from the main house and the playhouse, to the rifle and trap/skeet fields. We stopped really quick on the way home to pick up the antipasto for dinner (plus a few last minute cards) and then came home.

mother's day blues
Nana and Auntie Lyn were over. They were already watching Miss Congeniality when we got there. Dad and I quickly signed our cards in secret and then handed them out after dinner. Cards... blech.

Either way, it was a tense moment. I was still tired and a bit cranky myself. As I was sitting there, I was chewing on my thumbnail (I was a bad girl and bit them off during final school week stress) and Nana started making noises at me, bumping my elbow with hers. This, of course, pushed my hand into my teeth (which isn't exactly a pleasant sensation for hand or teeth). I snapped at her, telling her to stop. I was already a bit ticked off from earlier when I felt like I had suddenly lost 20 years on my age as she patted me on the head like a child. Naturally, she got all upset at me, not really talking much to me like she does to Mom and Auntie Lyn when they do something wrong in her eyes. She even sat there and looked at Auntie Lyn with one of those meaningful looks she gives everyone like "What did I do? Isn't she a little pissy?"

Okay... perhaps it came out a little snappier than it should have. But, if she was trying to get me to stop chewing on my nail, she could have just said, "Don't do that," or "Don't bite." I mean, I'm an adult. I'm 25 years old. I understand the English language. I don't need to be talked to like a dog or a very small child. I'm even taller than her, for crying out loud, you'd think she'd realize I'm older by now.

I'm just frustrated because you can't vent to her about this kind of stuff. You can't ask her to stop doing anything or tell her that it makes you feel bad because then she gets horribly upset and runs the guilt trip about how she's old and 'all she asks' is just this one little thing. And she does it every time, no matter how politely and nicely you ask her to stop or tell her how you feel about it.

I love my grandmother, but she just vexes me to no end. Not to mention that, every time something happens, Auntie Lyn vents about it to Mom, which Mom then vents about anything Nana does to her (and all the stuff that Auntie Lyn vented about) to me and Dad. Like they said... it flows downhill. No wonder Mom's sugar and blood pressure levels go through the roof at times.

day of rest
And they said weekends were times to relax. I ended up sleeping most of today. I was exhausted! I tried staying up to watch this thing on the History Channel about Egyptian mummies (it was the "Mummies Day Marathon"), but I started falling asleep through the last part. I made it through, though, going to bed right after that.

Today, I woke up at 5 am (WHY??!!) and talked to Mom a bit before she headed off to work. I gave Prudy some of the left over canned cat food we had picked up so we could give Marbles his medications and then went back upstairs to try to sleep for a little while longer. I was in and out for most of the day, finally getting up just before Mom got home for work. We had planned on going to K'Mart because they were having a sale on some stuff she needed, but she wasn't feeling well when she got home, so we didn't go.

edited at 9pm
Mom took a nap, and Dad and I made dinner tonight. We had roast turkey breast in gravy with carrots and mashed potatoes. It was surprisingly filling and very good. And I don't have class!!! YAY!!!

off for the summer, looking for a job
I'm so happy. Classes are over for the summer. Now, to find a job. Mom said the sign was back up at Splish Splash again. {{shrugs}} I dunno. I saved up a lot of money, but Estelle had a good point when I was talking to her last night. My tone when I mentioned it to her said it all about how I felt on working there again. She asked me if I really wanted to put up with the hassels I went through last time. It's not the job, it's the customers. I'm seriously beginning to hate working with customers. Whether it's on the phone or in person, the general populace of Long Island (and it's tourists) is just plain stupid.

"You and I are smart. People in general are extremely stupid and panicky." Thank you, Agent K of the MIB (Tommy Lee Jones). It's so true... x.x;;

Oh well. I'll find something, I hope.