:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Saturday, January 11, 2003 ::

Take the Anime Sountrack Quiz

Well, I get to drag my sick butt outta bed today for my grandmother's 78th birthday so I can go with her, my mom, and my aunt to the Chowder Bar for lunch. I'm so not in the mood for seafood, either. Nor am I in the mood to sit in the back seat of the car listening to my grandmother pushing her dentures around in her mouth with her tongue.

Don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother. She just makes me crazy sometimes with all the stuff she pulls. Half the time, we don't know if it's a real complaint or if she's just attention needy. As soon as someone has a headache, she has a migraine. "But, I'll be fine, you go on ahead while I stay here alone." {{add dramatic tone of voice}}

Puhlease!

And people wonder why I never feel bad for them. It's because I'm so numb to anything that may remotely resemble a guilt trip, joking or not, I can't feel bad for people. Not that I'm insensitive. I just get tired of hearing people whine. And it's probably because I have to hear it all the time! So, here comes another long lunch. Let's see how long we can go before someone does something wrong to ruin the whole day in my grandmother's eyes. One tiny thing and the whole day is blown. Talk about stress.

Not to mention I woke up at this rediculous hour because I was half-starved (well, all I ate today was Taco Bell) and couldn't go back to sleep.

I feel so miserable... {{sigh}}

:: Friday, January 10, 2003 ::

{{sniffles}} Whatever it is that my parents had, I've got it now, too. But we're getting some snow right and it's really pretty. I just feel too disgusting to really enjoy it. I'm sore, stuffed up, my throat hurts, and I had a nasty fever with chills last night. Ugh...

I still dragged myself out to the Rainbow meeting tonight. We were going to have a mock Initiation so our girl could get credit for her part, but she never showed. We all sat there for about an hour, talking about anything but Rainbow. Go figure.

:: Thursday, January 09, 2003 ::

Just finished watching some stuff about rich people and where they go for indulgences, vacations, and stuff like that. O.O;;; BOY! They spend thousands of dollars a night on a posh suite in a fancy hotel and then even more thousands of dollars on a dog to protect them. It's insane!

{{sniffles}} No more snow. All gone. Well, most of it. It rained today and was pretty warm, so most of the snow covering on the ground got washed away. However, the big piles from the plowing are still there. They're all dirty now, though. Ick.

And I really have nothing new to report, other than I took more quizzes last night after I was done with my adopt fest. And, YES, I will work on my webpage soon. I just have to redo the entire layout again. It's a rather daunting task and I'm tempted to just start from scratch. We'll see how it goes.

What Kind of Virgin Are You?
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What type of manga are you?
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:: Wednesday, January 08, 2003 ::

You know, I really hate when I get depressed. Luckily, some friends of mine cheered me up. Thanks, guys! I'm still feeling a bit antisocial, and I probably will for a while, yet. {{sigh}}

Also, I added some more links and reorganized them a bit so they didn't look so daunting in one huge link section. I think they're a bit easier to read in the smaller sections like that. And I also fixed the contact stuff so you can send me messages from right here.

I also put up more random stuff at the bottom. Dolls, toys, adoptions, sprites, etc. Aren't they just so darn cute?

Well, the drive home wasn't bad at all. It snowed a little bit while I was at her house, but stopped before I left. It was snowing still back at my house, but nothing huge. Tiny little flakes with a light, dusty accumulation. I did, however, make new tracks with my car. If anyone sees them before the snow disappears, they'll think someone was having fun. ^_^;;; I did little swerves all over the entrance road to my neighborhood.

Estelle and I watched Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock (Speed, 28 Days, Practical Magic). Sandra Bullock is great. I think she's one of the most hysterical people I've ever seen on the big screen. And she's great in serious roles, too. She brings a lot of herself into each character while still making a difference between them from movie to movie. Not to mention that Miss Congeniality is just a great flick. "Don't mess with me. I'm wearing a dress, I've got gel in my hair, and I'm armed." >THUD!< I love it.

:: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 ::

snow... We're supposed to get another dusting tonight and I'm going over to my friend's house. Should be an interesting drive home. Major things that bother me about snow is slippery roads, biting cold, and cleaning off my car. Other than that, it's very pretty.

-----

The Usual
-- Name: Jessi-Lynne
-- Birthdate: October 4, 1977
-- Birthplace: West Islip, NY
-- Current Location: Still on Long Island
-- Eye Color: Blue
-- Hair Color: Dark Blonde with reddish highlights (subject to change) and mousey brown roots
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Libra
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie
-- Your heritage: German, Irish, English, French, Scottish, Welsh
-- The shoes you wore today: Steve Madden sneakers
-- Your hair: three or four inches below my shoulders, layered, needs to be recolored
-- Your eyes: You asked me already. :P Blue.
-- Your weakness? um... self-conscious-ness I think
-- Your perfect pizza: Sausage and Pepperoni
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: Travel, or get a job


What is
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: heh
-- Your thoughts first waking up: I don' wanna
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: skin complexion
-- Your best physical feature: I've been told my legs... I wouldn't know personally
-- Your bedtime: when I finally get to sleep
-- Your greatest fear: rejection
-- Your greatest accomplishment: so far? probably my grades at school right now
-- Your most missed memory: hm... how can I miss it if I forgot it? ;-P... seriously, probably going on long trips with my parents


You prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Neither... Checkers or Wendy's!
-- Single or group dates: both
-- Adidas or nike: neither... Sketchers!
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton mix, Nestea in a bottle, but only if there's no Snapple Raspberry Iced Tea.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla for ice cream, chocolate candy bars, tho'
-- Cappuccino or coffee: yuck... hot chocolate
-- Boxers or briefs: um... I'm a girl... I wear boxers to bed, tho'


Do you
-- Smoke: No, I like to breathe
-- Cuss: ^_^;;; yeah
-- Sing well: I think I'm okay, but I hate karoake
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes, nice and hot in the winter
-- Have a crush(es): on real people or actors?
-- who are they: Well, there's a few...
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to go to college: classes start on Jan 13th
-- Like high school: only my senior year, the rest sucked
-- Want to get married: Eventually
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yes
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness: If I can't look out a window or read too long
-- Think you're attractive: Sometimes
-- Think you're a health freak: I sincerely doubt that one
-- Get along with your parents: Yes
-- Like thunderstorms: not really
-- Play an instrument: I played clarinet in 5th grade and never played an instrument again.


In the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoke(d): nope, don't smoke (see previous section)
-- Done a drug: I doubt anything over the counter counts
-- Have Sex: my ex-boyfriends wish
-- Made Out: not this month
-- date: yes
-- Go to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
-- Eaten sushi: yikes! {{hides from the stuff}}
-- Been on stage: no... :( I miss performing, tho'!
-- Been dumped: Nope
-- Gone skating: Nope
-- Made homemade cookies: not this month... but I usually make brownies instead of cookies.
-- Been in love: Not this month
-- Gone skinny dipping: In December/January? I don't think so... not in New York
-- Dyed your hair: No, but I need to. My roots are showing.
-- Stolen anything: Not this month? ^_^;;; I've only gotten caught by my parents...


(WHAT AN EXCITING LIFE I LIVE!)
Have you ever:
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: Does forplay count?
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Not my idea of a good time, so no.
-- Been caught "doing something": Stealing? By my mom...
-- Been called a tease: yes
-- Gotten beaten up: almost, we were pulled apart before we could kill each other
-- Shoplifted: ^_^;; I think you know that answer already
-- If so, did you get caught: ^_^;; Geeze! How many times to I have to say it!
-- Changed who you were to fit in: not consciously, tho' I do notice I act differently around different people


The future
-- Age you hope to be married: I had hoped to be married or at least engaged by now (I'm 25, for those who don't know)
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 or 3... haven't thought about names
-- Descibe your Dream Wedding: Country Club wedding.. I'm not religious.
-- How do you want to die: I don't want to suffer from illness or pain, that frightens me.
-- Where you want to go to college: I'm at Briarcliffe, I went to Suffolk County Community College for a while.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Not sure, but I'd like to work with the internet
-- What country would you most like to visit: something in the Orient or one of the ones my ancestors are from


Opposite sex
-- Best eye color? not picky
-- Best hair color? not picky
-- Short or long hair?: not long, but no crew cut. I like something I can easily run my fingers through
-- Best height: taller than me (preferrably at least 5'11")
-- Best weight: proportionate to his height... and not flabby
-- Best articles of clothing: um... just as long as he doesn't look like an asshole
-- Best first date location: restaurant, maybe a flick (no fast food)
-- Best first kiss location: anywhere the moment is right


Number of
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: A big fat zero.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: um... one of my downfalls... I don't trust enough.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Too many, I think around 200...
-- Number of piercings: 1 in each ear
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: three or four w/ pic... my mom has 'em on the fridge...
-- Number of scars on my body: dunno, but I've got 'em
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: dunno, but there's things I regret
My Father thinks I am: forgetful
My Mother thinks I am: lazy
My sister(s) think I am: don't have any (N/A)
My brother(s) thinks I am: don't have any (N/A)
My grandma thinks I am: (maternal) the greatest thing that ever happened.. (paternal) wishes I had been a boy..
My Grandpa thinks I am: (maternal) thought I was silly and funny.. (paternal) lovable
My Boyfriend thinks I am: don't have one {{sniffles}} (N/A)
My best friend thinks I am: I don't know if I have a best friend...


EGO...
-your three best qualities: loyal, friendly, creative
-three worst qualities: lazy, self-conscious, paranoid
-three things you are often complimented for: my singing, my ritual work in Rainbow, my computer skills
-you get embarrassed when: a lot more than I probably should (any time someone compliments me)
-makes you happy: being with people who make me laugh and don't remind me of things that are bothering me
-upsets you: dumb drivers, when someone I care about is upset


Yes or NO...
+you keep a diary: does this count?
+you like to cook: sometimes
+you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: plenty of those
+you fold your underwear: sometimes
+you talk in your sleep: dunno, I haven't woken myself up
+you set your watch a few minutes ahead: used to, but I started recalculating the time so I just turned it back
+you bite your fingernails: when I'm freaked out about something (haven't in a while since I've been trying to stop)
+you believe in love: love at first sight... no... love at all... yes


last...
x. movie you rented: High Crimes
x. movie you bought: Monsters, Inc.
x. song you listened to: whatever was on Z100 when I turned off the car
x. song that was stuck in your head: "I am gettin' so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off" I don't know what it's called, it's been in my head all day
x. song you've downloaded: um... I usually don't download songs, but people have sent me stuff... It's been while, tho', and I don't remember
x. cd you bought: Jewel's X-mas album, I think.
x. cd you listened to: The one in my CD player right now... Dream Theatre's "Metropolis, Part 2: Scenes from a Memory".
x. person you've called: my friend Estelle
x. person that's called you: my friend Estelle (I returned her call on the last question :-P )
x. tv show you've watched: "Crossing Jordan"
x. person you were thinking of: Estelle, when I was talking to her
x. you wish you could live somewhere else: don't we all at times?
x. you think about suicide: I haven't in about a year.
x. you believe in online dating: I don't believe you can get those vibes about someone over a computer
x. others find you attractive: Apparently, but none of the people *I* find attractive seem to find me attractive, just the geeky ones.
x. you want more piercings: maybe one more in each ear.
x. you want more tattoos: I've thought about it, but I'm afraid of needles.
x. you drink: On occasion
x. you do drugs: no
x. you smoke: no (weren't those questions asked a million times already?)
x. you like cleaning: nope
x. you like roller coasters: yes
x. you write in cursive or print: cursive
x. you carry a donor card: nope
x. ever cried over a girl: yes, but not because I was in love with her... It's a long story. I've cried over guys, too.
x. ever lied to someone: Yes.
x. ever been in a fist fight: almost, but, like I said earlier, we were pulled apart before we could kill each other (she's the one I cried over)
x. ever been arrested: Nope, not planning on it, either.
x. shampoo do you use: whatever my parents have in the tub
x. perfume do you use: don't use perfume a lot, but sometimes I use Victoria's Secret or Jessica McClintock
x. shoes do you wear: Sketchers, Steve Madden, or whatever I liked that I could afford (I buy everything on sale)

:: Monday, January 06, 2003 ::

Watched High Crimes today with Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman. I definitely suggest it for a good rental. It's a military court drama where a civilian lawyer (Ashley Judd) enters the military courtroom for the first time to defend her husband against accusations of mass murder. She recruits the assistance of a former military lawyer (Morgan Freeman) to get her through the process and help her learn the system. As she investigates further into the incident, she finds an elaborate military coverup and also finds her life in grave danger.

I found it a really good movie. Excellent entertainment.

We also watched 1776 today. I love that musical. As the title suggests, it's about the creation and signing of the Declaration of Independance. It stars the guy who played the principal on "Boy Meets World" as John Adams, and he's excellent in the role. Another familiar face is the man who played the owner of the Rusty Nail on "Northern Exposure" as Edward Rutledge, the lead delegate from South Carolina. The music is great, and it's a wonderful way to learn a little bit about the struggle our nation's leaders went through at the time to decide whether or not to cut our ties with England. I definitely suggest that for viewing as well and it's just been released on DVD along with the screen tests of several of the actors in the movie. I've also had the pleasure of seeing the live play version at a local theatre. I didn't see it on Broadway, but I heard that Brent Spiner ("ST: TNG's" Data, Independance Day) was wonderful in the role of John Adams and has a suprisingly pleasant singing voice, as was heard during that scene in Star Trek: Insurrection when Patrick Stewart's Picard used a familiar duet to draw Data from his apparent breakdown. Not that Patrick Stewart is a bad singer either. He's got quite a voice himself.

Anyway, both are excellent movies, and I'd recommend them to anyone, especially 1776.

We've also been watching Bravo a lot lately. They just finished their Cirque Du Soleil marathon and have started up a new series showing auditions, coreography, practices, and rehearsals of the troupe. While some of it is strange and the costumes can sometimes be rather outlandish, the talent that the people that perform for the circus have is amazing. These people bend themselves like those long armed/legged bendy toys you used to find in the vending machines. Forwards, backwards, it's crazy. They climb poles like Spiderman climbs buildings with no special cables or wires. They balance on top of stacks of chairs. The trapeze artists are wild. It's almost like they can fly.

I was just watching "Crossing Jordan", too. Jerry O'Connel (Mission to Mars, "My Secret Identity") is so damn cute. I so can't wait to see Kangaroo Jack. It's impossible to believe that he was the fat kid in Stand By Me with Wil Wheaton. And Wil Wheaton ("Star Trek: the Next Generation") is looking good again. I saw him for a short appearance in the new Star Trek movie, and he also did a quick stint on TNT hosting a Next Gen marathon. He had gained a lot of weight for a while, but he looks really good again.

Like I should talk about gaining weight... None of my gowns for Rainbow fit me right now except for a select few colored ones and one white one. And the white one is the one I need for regular meetings. I wish I had the money to go back to dance class or even go back to the gym. I hate not being able to wear half my wardrobe. I really do. I need clothes, but I don't want to buy too many in the size I'm currently at because I'm afraid I might become too comfortable. Plus, I can't really afford to buy all that many more. I really need to find another job. I'm pissed that Arrow Security thing didn't work out. Not that the atmosphere was all that great. The people seemed very catty and backstabbing, and seemed quick to jump on the blame bandwagon when someone did or presumably did something wrong. I also doubt many of them apologize if they hurt anyone. They don't seem the type.

Have an appointment to get my oil changed tomorrow... I should probably learn how to do it myself. I could save some money if I do. I just hope my gas lines didn't freeze in the cold weather and slight snowfall we had today. I was down to less than an eighth of a tank of gas. You shouldn't let it get low, even in fuel injected cars. Frozen fuel lines and gas tanks suck big time. It happened to my mom once and it took hours with her car on lifts and heat lamps under it to thaw the thing out.

I got my grades back today, too. Straight A's! I kept my 4.0! I was worried I had lost it with one class, but apparently I pulled through on homeworks and participation. I usually do well on tests, too, but I just blanked on some stuff. Then again, it was a hardware class, and I'm not very good with hardware. That's why I'm a programming major. But, we do need some hardware classes to 'round out' our education. Stupidness. Oh well, I'm just glad I still got an 'A' in that class despite my bad tests. I did really enjoy the class, and I had almost perfect attendance. Plus, the teacher was a really cool guy. I'm so happy about my grades!!!

And one last, but by no means least important, item for this post. A certain friend of mine still hasn't installed comments on his blog. Trevor, dear, I know how you feel. Sometimes it feels like no one notices you're around and no one listens to you. I've been there many times. Anytime I end up being in a group of three or more (including me), I feel like no one listens to me, and I get very frustrated. It's almost as if I'm not even there. Sometimes, I even feel like people aren't listening to me one-on-one. I wish I knew what to tell you to do, but I'm still figuring that one out, myself. I usually make a loud sigh, throw my hands up, and roll my eyes. Sometimes, that gets noticed. Either way, I just wanted to tell you that I will remember you. You're a really great person, extremely mature and articulate for your age. In fact, you're a lot like me. People often don't understand when they find people like us. They find us intimidating, even if we're the shiest people around. I've scared off countless people just by using what I consider everyday vocabulary, and I find that I sometimes have to dumb down my words so that I don't come across as snobby and aloof. Someone once asked me in high school why I use 'big words'. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I know what they mean and find that certain words people would normally only see on an SAT are the only ones I can use to express myself.

Of course, I could be completely off track with what I'm saying here, but I just want to help you out. I consider you a friend, Trevor. Don't ever forget that.

What Goth Are You?

The background character in Freakazoid.

Find out what secondary animated character you are.


Cham's ex-singer
What character from a creepy anime are you?






Find out what anime series you belong in.

:: Sunday, January 05, 2003 ::

And so... to help myself feel better, I took a few quizzes...





Strong, Silent, Baddie-buster

Find out what anime character cliche you are.


Bad-ass, Street Fighting Chick
What Video Game Hero Are You?

I don't really feel better, but it gave me something to do.

Only my mother... I was joking around and took a slice of cucumber and put it in my mouth so that half stuck out. Who else do you know can take a joke and turn it into criticism? Yes, my teeth are a bit yellow, but most people's are. If someone's teeth are pure white, they're probaby bleaching and Lord knows I don't have the money or insurance coverage to do that. It's not like I don't brush my teeth! She said that I should start brushing more often because my teeth are getting moldy. Needless to say, my little stunt to get a laugh didn't get any. All I wanted was a laugh. Yeah, she was just teasing, but I'm really sick of of her criticizing me all the time.

John and I were going to go bowling tonight, too, but it started snowing, and I had no money to put gas in my car, and his car is acting funny, and he needs to get the radiator fixed, so we said the hell with it and didn't go. We'll go another time.

Yes, we have snow... but I'm in a bad mood again and don't really feel like enjoying it right now.

I miss dancing. I was watching the Cirque Du Soleil on Bravo earlier and those people are so flexible and athletic. I wish I had the money to go back to dance classes. I really do, but now my parents can't afford it either. Hopefully, I'll be able to afford to pay for my domain name again in a few months. I don't know if I will.

calm...

Not again... Freaking.... freaking.... I can't think straight