:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Thursday, December 18, 2003 ::

school's done!
Woot! I'm done for the semester! I had my last final tonight and I'm pretty sure I killed on it. I'm so psyched! I graduate on the 23^rd with my Associates of Occupational Sciences (AOS) in Computer Information Systems (CIS). Then, in January, I go back from my Bachelors of Technology (BT) in Computer Information Technology (CIT). Both are programming emphasis.

I don't think I've been this excited about going to school since... kindegarten... ^^;;

turn of events
You know... I like Erin... but there are just some things she sticks her nose in and talks about that she shouldn't. She told John S. the other day that I had never been interested in him and probably never would be. Where she got that information from, I don't know. Perhaps, when she was still dating him, I may have said something along those lines to the effect of 'he's taken and I can't have him'... but I never said that I wasn't interested in him at some point.

It's hard for guys and girls to be friends a not be interested in each other (unless they're homosexual... then it's girls with girls and guys with guys... but the same idea).

Anyway...

He calls me the other day wanting to talk about it because we had already talked previously and I admitted that I harbored some small interest in him. The poor boy's got his signals crossed now.

I know Erin means well. And I know she was trying to answer his question to the best of her knowledge. I'm going to give her the benefit of a doubt and not assume she's trying to screw with people's lives again like she did before we all stopped hanging out last time. But... what bugs me is why.

Does she honestly think that or is she making an assumption based on some strange heresay that technically only applied for when John S. was dating another girl?

Is she trying to force me into waiting for Brian, since I think she likes him a bit better anyway? There's no way I'm going to be a rebound girl. I've done that in the past for her boyfriends. And, even though Brian's well past Erin, he's not past Sammy, yet... heck, the divorce papers haven't even gone through. I'm not doing that.

Could this be a self-defense mechanism? A way to prevent the possibility of John S. and I dating each other to prevent herself from getting hurt by it because they had a bad break up? She's engaged to Jason now... and John S. and I are perfectly capable of dating whomever we'd like to.

Or, is this some sort of strange malicious scheme to prevent John S. or myself from being happy with one another in case we decide that we like being a couple?

Now, I know John S. still harbored feelings for me when he was dating Erin. He told me so. So, there's a possibility that this is her way (conscious or not) of payback for making her jealous. However, John S. and I never acted upon those feelings for two main reasons. Erin and Paul. Even after I broke up with Paul and John S. was still seeing Erin, it never happened. I have standards and I will never go after another girl's guy. I just don't do that. I don't want them to tell me if they broke up with said girl because of me... I refuse to let them cheat on said girl with me... It's a big no no in my book because I know I would hate it if some guy did that to me.

So, now what do I do? Should I ask Erin? Maybe Erin didn't feel any insecurity saying anything because she didn't think John S. and I would have the guts to actually discuss it with each other. Both of us are terrible at acting on our feelings and letting others know that there might be a chance. Erin probably knows that about us. After all, she dated John S. for a couple years, and she and I have been friends since we were 10.

Not counting breaks because we might have been pissed at each other for something.

But, do I really want to broach the subject with her? We've only just recently started hanging out again and I don't know if I'm ready to start something that might rock the boat so soon. Granted, it should probably be addressed at some point... because it might bug me for a while. Then again, it might not. I'm fairly laid back with stuff like this anyway with people, so the subject just might never come up.

The reason I'm even talking about this was because John S. wants to get together and talk now. At first, he made it sound like it was going to be a casual night out, and then he started rambling on my voice mail about what he had talked to Erin about and the things that were said and what he thought... and I'm sitting there watching the little minute timer on my phone slowly increase... {{sigh}}

Guys.

I have probably met the most complex men in history. Everyone says women are the more convoluted sex, but the men in my life have more issues than I do!

lord of the rings withdrawal
Estelle said Big Paul was taking Johnny to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King today. Opening night... I hate finals. They interfere with my going out time. And I don't want to go this weekend because it'll be sold out and I'll have to buy tickets like four shows in advance.

Hmmm...

I wonder.

Maybe Brian's uncle can get us tickets... I'll have to ask.

city trip
Mom and I are debating going into the city this weekend... Unfortunately, her leg's been bothering her, so I don't think that's going to happen. Plus, the plumber is coming on Saturday for the yearly community inspection. We live at the end of the building's sewage pipe (which sucks when someone down the line clogs...), so the condominium board makes us sit home and wait for an indefinite time all day so the plumber can show up when he feels like to check the system. I hate living on the end.

But, it beats being stuck in between two noisy neighbors.

snapple "real fact" #165
Your eye expands up to 45% when looking at something pleasing.

Hmm... and what would that pleasing thing be? Of course, I think I got this one already, but I'm tired of trying to find them all.