:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Sunday, July 13, 2003 ::

founder's day
Well, today was our Founder's Day picnic for Rainbow. We had a whopping 10 people show up. Yippee. Meanwhile, it was supposed to be the entire Southern Area, which includes Nassau and Kings/Queens. {{sigh}} Can't win, I guess.

Of course, I almost forgot myself. I didn't get there until around 4. I was expecting a lot more people to be there, so I almost thought it was cancelled when I pulled up and didn't see that many cars. Once I noticed some that were supposed to be there for the picnic and not for living there, I felt okay. I've never seen such a small Founder's Day picnic. It was sad. I felt bad for Deidre because she had tried to make it an Area picnic, instead of just Suwassett.

Of course, I did forget the last meeting... ^^;; Apparently, Kerri actually came to it, with Charsie, but it was just them with Patty and Deidre. It wouldn't have made a difference if I had gone or not.

unfortunately
I ended up staying longer than planned at the picnic and missed an Eve6 concert tonight. There was one at Mulcahy's in Wantagh and it was only $6 to get in!!!

home again
Mom and Dad went and brought Nana home from the hospital today. The doctor still won't give them any definite answers on what it was she had. I hate Dr Campbell. He's a big jerk. Now Mom thinks she's getting sick, too. I'm thinking, 'Great'. If I get sick, I don't have insurance to get it treated. It's gonna be expensive!! Not that I want her to get sick, but we can't afford for me to. Way too much money... I hate this.

stupid job hunt
It's not like I'm not trying. I just get so discouraged when I don't hear back from anywhere that I don't want to apply anymore. It's very frustrating. People keep telling me, "Oh, you'll find something", but that doesn't seem to be working very well. I have things I need to pay off. I'm afraid of getting sick or hurt. It sucks, big time.

But, in order for it to be even worth bothering, I need to find something that pays like $9 to $10 an hour at full time, at the absolute least. More for part time. Especially if it ends up being something that's not close to home. Otherwise, everything I make goes into the gas tank, the car payment, and the car insurance, and then it's not worth the effort to bother with the job. I mean, if all the money I'm working for is going into my transportation to get to that job, then why bother?

I hate this... I really do.