:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Saturday, January 04, 2003 ::

YAY!!!! Mom and I saw HP: CS! She liked it just as much as I did!

On the otherhand, I just had another anxiety attack. I think that's what it is. I get all freaked out for no reason, feeling extremely overwhelmed and crowded in by too many things. I have this insane need to scream out or jump up and down or something. I get jumpy and irritable. I just can't explain it and I can't find a reason for it. It just suddenly comes on at the weirdest times.

But, I'm calming down now. I just helped Dan fix his comment code on his blog. I find that working on web code or playing a game on the computer like Delta Force or a card game or something helps calm me down a bit. Talking doesn't seem to help all that much. I have to distract myself somehow. Usually, I hate being around other people when I get like that. I don't want to go out or listen to people talk. It happened to me in class once and I almost left half way through. I was extremely close to just getting up and walking out. I was afraid I was going to smack the person next to me. It took a lot to stop myself.

Either way, I'm not pissed at everyone anymore. I'm still feeling a bit antisocial, but that will pass eventually. Maybe tomorrow.

Well, we got our butts handed to us on a platter again. We're trying to figure out what it is we're missing. It's only in tournaments that we do badly, so we have to find out what the problem is. Why do the other guys suddenly move faster than us? Why can't we kill them? Are they cheating? Do they have better computers? We're not lacking in the skill department, but we have a feeling it's because most of us on AE have lives off our computers and don't just play Delta Force 24/7.

It's good to have a life outside the internet, you know...

And can someone PLEASE tell me what the big deal is with base raping? What fun is there in killing the other person before they have a chance to move and fight back? There's nothing I hate more than respawning, only to be killed before I have the chance to take a few steps.

BUT! All things will be better tomorrow once Mom and I go to see HP: CS tomorrow. I can't wait! I know, I know, I'm nuts because I saw it already, but Mom didn't and I really liked it a lot! Besides, I'll feel better afterwards.

:: Friday, January 03, 2003 ::

I've started a quiz trend... Now everyone posting their quizzes as much as I do... I'm going to run out of quizzes to take soon. {{sobbing}}

ooo... I have Trowa's battlecry...





What's your Battle-Cry?

this quiz was made by Aroihkin of PlanetKulitron

My sphere is Soldier (Unity in Strength and Action), and my class is Rogue (Precise and Unhindered). I am a Dark Artist. If you were in the Republican Convention during Nixon's term of office, you would have been the one they sent to spy on and infiltrate Democratic Headquarters at Watergate. This isn't to say that you're a man of black operations or ill repute, but more to say that you have the efficiency and swift approach to carry out these tenuous, sometimes questionable, goals when most of your comrades might balk. What kind of Warrior are you?

Awwwww!

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

Tonight's the tournment match for AE... I haven't played in a tournament before, but everyone says I'll do fine. They all seem to think I'm pretty good. Well, the ones that say something, at least. We'll see tonight, won't we? Maybe we'll just get our butts kicked like we did in the last match... -_-;;; Wish me luck! I'll post to let you know how it went!

Oi... what did I get myself into? O.O;;;

Not to mention that my comment links have a tendancy to disappear on occasion. If you don't see them, just refresh the page. I guess I should put that somewhere that everyone can see it so it doesn't go and get archived, huh?

:: Thursday, January 02, 2003 ::

YAY!!! It worked!

Attempting to change template and it's not working... {{sobbing}} I changed the order of my navcolumn again and posted the new template halfway through the change... Now I can't seem to get the rest of it to save in my template and I hate the order everything's currently in!!!!

:: Wednesday, January 01, 2003 ::

Practice went well tonight. I'm actually looking forward to playing the match on Friday, even if it means I might get my butt whipped by the other team. ^_^;; Oh well. Should be fun either way.

HP: CS was sold out, so Mom and I never made it. We're going to try again on Saturday, maybe order tickets ahead of time. We're going to the new theatre again. It's really nice!

Added the RPG links. And took more quizzes...


Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

Adorability!

Find out what anime girl you are.






What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<º>

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I had a great time last night! My friend John and I went over to Nick's house and hung out for a few hours. Cathy was there (well, she is Nick's girlfriend and how I met Nick, after all) and two of Nick's friends (John and Donna, another John!!!) came over as well. We had a really good time! Cathy got drunk and giggly. It was rather amusing to watch! My parents went and saw LOTR. My mom and I are going to see HP: CS tonight (yes, I saw it already, but I really want to see it again and Mom doesn't want to go alone).

I'm also on the match team of the American Eagle squad for Friday's match! This is going to be so cool! Practice is tonight and, since Mom and I are going to the 6:30 show, I'll be able to make it. But, that means I won't be on for chatting tonight until later, for those of you I see on the Messengers. I'm actually a bit nervous. Hopefully, I won't screw up. But, I've become a really good Team King of the Hill (TKOTH) player for Delta Force, so I shouldn't do too bad. Especially if there's some really good place to hide in the zone. I'm also a good sniper, so, if I get stuck outside the zone, I've become fairly good at clearing it out from a distance. Good enough to annoy the older, more experienced players and make them come looking for me. {{evil grin}}

:: Tuesday, December 31, 2002 ::

Woohoo! Archives are online!

:: Monday, December 30, 2002 ::

Wow... major changes! I added a quiz section of all the quizzes I've taken and the results. I even made seperate windows pop up with the results in them. ^_^ I'm so proud of myself. I also changed the order of some stuff around and changed how my comment links are displayed.

Now... If I could only get this thing to display links to the archives I know exist, I'd be happy.

name: Jessi-Lynne
In the morning I am: probably sleeping if I don't have a job
All I need is: right now? money... or a job to get the money from...
Love is: Nice when it's there
If I could see one person right now: I don't know...
Im afraid of: Rejection
I dream about: my stories that I write... It's where I get my best ideas

-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . .
Pictured your crush naked?: Oh, please! Who hasn't?
Actually seen ur crush naked: If he's still only a crush and nothing more, it's probably only in those mental pictures
Been in love: Yes
Cried when someone died: Yes
Lied: ^_^;;; Is *that* what it's called?
Coke or Pepsi: PEPSI (preferrably Wild Cherry flavor)
Flowers or Candy: flowers
Scruff or clean shaven: depends on the guy and if it works for him
Tall or short: preferrably taller than me


W I T H_ T H E_ O P P O S I T E_ S E X
Last person u slow danced with: My ex-boyfriend at a Charity Ball


D O_Y O U_E V E R
Sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?: sometimes, if I'm not busy with stuff off the computer
Save aol/aim conversations: I have logging enabled, but I don't do it for sentimental reasons.
Wish u were a member of the opposite sex: Nope.
Cried because of someone saying something to u: Yup


H A V E _Y O U _E V E R
Fallen for ur best friend: I've had a crush on one, does that count?
Been rejected: Yeah...
Rejected someone: a lot
Used someone: I hope not
Been cheated on: Sort of... I thought he was cheating, but I never found out for sure.
Done something u regret: tons of times


.W H O_W A S_T H E_L A S T_P E R S O N
You talked to on the phone: My friend Brian a few moments ago.
Hugged: My dad
You instant messaged: I'm talking to my bud Corey right now
You laughed with: My friend Brian when we were on the phone a few moments ago.


D O .Y O U-
Color ur hair: Yup, my natural color is too bland
Ever get off the damn computer: surprisingly a lot


-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
Smoke cigarettes: No thanks, I like being able to breath
Obsessive: yes... current obsession is Harry Potter (still a little Gundam Wing in there)
Could u live without the computer?: Probably not, tho' I'm not scared to give it a try
How many peeps are on ur buddylist?: do I have to count?
What's your favorite food?: Um... probably bacon
Whats ur favorite fruit?: Green Delicious Apples
Drink alchohol?: socially, but that's 'cuz I'm old enough now, I don't like getting drunk
Like watching sunrises or sunset: When I'm awake for them yeah
What hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?: Emotional, tho' I try to avoid physical
Trust others way too easily?: Definitely not. I don't trust others enough.


-N U M B E R-
Of times i have had my heart broken? : probably once
Of hearts i have broken? : Um... probably one, but I'm not really sure.
Of boys i have kissed? : 8 in a romantic way, but I kiss some of my friends on the cheek (family doesn't count!)
Of continents i have lived in? : 1
Of drugs taken illegally? : big fat ZERO
Of people i consider my enemies? : none at the moment... I try to avoid having them.
Of cd's that i own? : um... They're not in the room with me and I doubt I could run upstairs and count the ton of them quickly (I know it's around 200)
Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? : 3 or 4, I think... sometimes w/ pic. My mom has them on the fridge. ^_^;;;
Of scars on my body? : Not sure, but I do have them.
Of things in my past that i regret?: Not sure, but I do regret some things.

I went a little quiz crazy... {{blush}}


Which Harry Potter Candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of the circle of life. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 ears and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melidous song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is a symbol of the sun and immortality. The phoenix is a very worthwhile beast.

What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 49% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

Well, now I'm having trouble with my website. I can't create new folders, and, when I view it, I get some weird security certificate error. Any ideas?

:: Sunday, December 29, 2002 ::

Friends' sites added, as well as a sections for future links to other sites and sites for RPGs. This blog is getting more attention lately than my website... ^_^;;; {{blush}} Don't know if that's a good thing...

Updated the nav column. I changed everything to 'ness'. {{grin}} I like 'ness'. The order of the sections is different now, too... A little more organized and less 'tacked on' feeling, I think. I also updated some of the links. Some people changed their addresses to their blogs and stuff... All done! I'll be adding links to websites soon for my buddies who have them.

Hopefully, I'll actually get some work done on my own website this week, plus the NY Rainbow site. I promised a couple people from Rainbow (http://www.iorg.org) that I would work on a website for the NY Jurisdiction. Of course, we still haven't gotten the go ahead to actually do one as far as I know, but I still have some good ideas on what to put up.

If anyone's got any tips on Image Maps, let me know.

Last night was... well... interesting. It started with my grandmother and aunt coming over because they wanted to drive around aimlessly and look at Christmas lights on other people's houses. That used to interest me when I was a kid, but I really didn't feel like going this year and listening to my grandmother use her tongue to play with her dentures in the seat next to me. It's the most annoying sound ever! So, I decided not to go. Which is probably why my grandmother decided not to go. That and she claims she still has trouble seeing despite the cataract surgery and the eye doctor's proclamations that her sight's getting better. I was hoping she would go and then I could have come downstairs and played on the computer while they were gone. So, my mom and aunt went out. I don't think my dad was happy about my grandmother staying either. He looked like he wanted to come down and play on his computer, too. I found out later that she talked his ear off while I was in the shower.

Which brings me to the next part of the evening. I got a call from my friend Cathy and, after a quick shower, managed to escape the doldrums to go with her, her boyfriend (Nick), and some of his friends to to a bar. We hung out for a while (one of his geeky friends (Matt) kept trying to hit on me, why can't I get the guys I actually like?!), and then headed out. Cathy drove and we ended up with an extra passenger on the way home (read: her boyfriend's cousin, Paul).

Can I tell you something? It's one thing to be noisy and loud in a bar where the music's pumped up and the band is playing and the people are yelling and laughing and talking. It's another thing to be noisy and loud in the car on the way home when there's only five of you and your crammed in tight because it's a sports car and the sound is held into the small cabin. Things went from okay to really bad in about 60 seconds. Cathy started fighting with Paul, Nick got all upset at the whole thing, and Matt was being a total jerk to where I almost kicked him out when we got to his house. Luckily, Paul was staying at Nick's house, and we only had to make two stops before going back to Cathy's where I had left my car.

Oi...

Anyway, I saw LOTR *again* today! My friend John and I went. He hadn't seen it, yet, and he really wanted to. He was the one that missed out last Monday when we went for the other John's birthday. So, we hit the theatre, got the special seats (yes, they cost more, but it's worth it), and really enjoyed ourselves.

Of course, in the past few moments I've been home, I fell off my high in an instant. I don't know why. I'm feeling extremely antisocial again. Maybe I'll play a round of Delta Force and blow some stuff up for fun. After dinner, because if Mom yells one more time for me to come up and eat, I'm gonna flip out. I feel like I'm going to scream again and I don't know why... I hate that feeling...

Not to mention the Browns had the nerve to actually win and knock my Broncos out of the playoffs!!! And the Broncos played so well against the Cardinals today, too! {{anime sobbing}}